I don't get grammar

I don’t get grammar.

At school, my least favourite subject was English.  I loved reading and writing poetry and did well until I changed schools.  Then, they started to teach us grammar and talked about verbs, adjectives, nouns, pronouns, adverbs, etc.  I learnt a noun is a naming word, a verb a doing word, an adjective is a describing word, and so on.  When asked to look at a piece of writing I just saw words.

I remember one class the teacher was determined I was going to grasp the concept and in front of the whole class, spent the session writing sentences on the board, forcing me to try and identify what was each word.  The classroom door did not need opening at the end; I walked underneath it with my head held high, well actually, I was using my head as a proverbial tail.

Ever since that lesson, I have not enjoyed the writing experience and grammar even less.  I know good grammar makes it easier to understand writing.  Through my life, I have seen and heard many people ridiculed over their lack of understanding of the rules of grammar.  The debates fascinate me as “experts” get into their proverbial corner and slug it out to try to prove their understanding on the rules on the use of the apostrophe.  The relevance of whether a reader understands the piece of work is lost in translation.

In my Police career, I spent many wasted hours sitting in courtrooms waiting to give evidence.  The debate is strongest if the case has a spelling mistake, or worse yet, a comma in the wrong place.  What the offender has or has not done, sometimes gets lost in the rhetoric of correct reports. 

I had a group of people read my master’s thesis, after submission, because I knew they were interested in the subject.  One night I got a lengthy and abusive phone call from a reader because of my lack of understanding of grammar.  I wanted to know if he agreed with my findings, but they were irrelevant, because I am “such a lousy writer.”  The call perked me up and created the desire to improve – not.

Technology is the most powerful tool in helping me improve.  When grammar check underlines a piece of my writing, I re-work it until that line under my work does not exist.  I know grammar check improves my writing. 

Now a new technology is in my life – The Style Guide.  The style guide helps me with structure and consistency.  When my work does not land on the grid, I keep working it until it does.  Again, I see significant improvement in my writing.  The “anal brigade” still criticises me but they do not rip my soul out as they used too.  The other feature The Style Guide forces me into, is revising my work many times – something I have not historically done.  The Style Guide gives me the confidence to share my work.

The answer to the question has not changed.  No, I do not like writing – to expose your inner self to others and then get the level of criticism others feel comfortable delivering, will never allow me to enjoy it.  I hear my teachers of past echoing through the corridors of my life, pushing me under the closed door.

 I persevere because I know the written word is important – I would not read as prolifically as I do if this were not the case.  I also write for the opportunity to engage with people I might never meet in person.  I love this technological age where there is the ability to communicate with others all over the world – what an enriching experience.