Chapter 6

Written by: marcopolo09190

 I took my eyes from the road for a few minutes, fixed them on my father and opened my mouth to speak. He was looking straight ahead, concentrating on the road. This was the time to tell my father the secret that had been weighing so heavily on my mind.

'Dad....' I started.

He turned to me with a hesitant smile nervously playing on his lips.

Headlights flashed in my eyes. I blinked and turned my attention back to the road. A car was coming straight at me. I jerked on the steering wheel sending our car careering off the road.

“Holy Hell!” I swore, before my world began rolling through hell. Quite literally.  

The seatbelt cut into my shoulder as my face shot towards the wheel, moments before an airbag cushioned the crash. I could feel my shirt getting damp and looking at my shoulder, I knew I had injured myself. Stop, I told myself. Don’t worry about yourself. Dad is in the car too, I have to make sure he’s alright.

Turning my head cautiously, I saw him. His own personal airbag had deployed too, luckily. I rejoiced silently. Then I noticed the red splatter on the side window and my heart dropped. He hadn’t been as lucky as me. “Dad!” I screamed, stretching across to him.  I ignore the excruciatingly shooting pain up my side. “Can you hear me?” I knew all too well my loudly ringing ears wouldn’t receive a reply. I felt the car tip slightly and looked outside. We were resting precariously on the side barrier, teetering on the edge of a small hill. I felt a shift in the balance and knew it wasn’t over yet.

The car tipped and the hellish world I found myself stuck in went black.

There comes an interesting sensation when you border between reality and the remains of your distraught mind. Although I was not a stranger to this place, having been introduced to it before from my time in Afghanistan, I was still terrified about whether or not I could make out reality this time. I knew I had to though. I needed to make sure my father was alright… I couldn’t lose him now. Not after how close we’d become.

Please.

Marco Tyler-Rodrigue (NZ)

 

 

Comments

Submitted by Ray Stone on Fri, 2014-04-11 00:07
I thought, content-wise, this was an extremely well written piece. There is plenty of emotion and a sense of real tension. I found the pace of reading this get quicker and quicker and was disappointed when I got to the end. I wanted more. I think the paragraph starting - Turning my head... might have been better split, separated by the "Can you hear me?" but apart from that this really got me going. Great stuff, Marco.
Submitted by Suraya Dewing on Tue, 2014-04-22 11:24
Yes, definitely a tension building chapter with a great opening for the next writer. I could picture them both in the car and my stomach lurched when the car tilted.....ooh. Very good Marco.